You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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