Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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