i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
