...so i touched it.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
