I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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