I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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