you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
