We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
