He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
