What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
