The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
