no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
