Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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