Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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