i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
