I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
