I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
