Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
