Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Go christen that room with your naked body.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
