I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize