So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
