Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
the liver wants what the liver wants
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize