New invention idea: vibrating tampons
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
