How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
