The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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