the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
