have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
