have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
