HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
