very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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