My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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