margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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