I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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