In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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