Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
