Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
