GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
