just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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