Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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