Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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