I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
babies were throwing up all over the place
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
