I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You can't motorboat a personality
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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