Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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