so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
