I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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