I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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