Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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