as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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