Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
