Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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