I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize