and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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