Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
