sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
