Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in itâ€
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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