you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
