Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
