i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
