i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
