I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
