I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
